this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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