It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
