her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Randomize
