girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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