There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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