there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
