Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm having to shit out rocks
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
