next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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