I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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