Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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