its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
