I accidentally burped into my bong.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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