you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
