I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
