great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
