At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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