And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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