Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
