I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
