Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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