doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
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my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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