I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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