The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
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We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
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Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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