GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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