So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
