I think my fart just growled at me.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
