This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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