How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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