Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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