I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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