Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
