It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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