The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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