No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
