i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
