Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
