If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
