We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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