i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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