.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
