Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
