That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize