You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
