On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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