I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
