She's JV to your varsity
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
