Sponge bath it is.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
