Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
