the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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