I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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