Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
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He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
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I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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