Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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