There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
