we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
