it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
