i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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