i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize