I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
